The Perfect Sun Tan
by Elsbeth Ravensblood
Summary: Daphne Greengrass insults Hermione. Hermione hexes her. Draco Malfoy suffers the consequences. What does a sun tan have to do with it? This is not Hermione Granger doing a prank. No no, not at all. No way. Never ever.


**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter, Hogwarts, Gringotts, the Leaky Cauldron or anything else in JKR's wonderful world. Except for the little pebble just to left of the front doors of Hogwarts. I put that there. I might own that. Maybe. But probably not.

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**The Perfect Sun Tan**

Harry Potter knew something was up when he felt his girlfriend's hand pull back from his hip where it had been resting to behind his back where he felt a little shake before moving back to his hip. He knew that shake meant Hermione's wand had just dropped into her hand from her wrist holster but what he didn't know was why. With his arm around her shoulders he continued walking as he scanned the people ahead of them looking for the threat she had obviously seen. It was mostly a group of female Slytherins but as far as he could tell they were all walking in the same direction he and Hermione were and none of them were even looking around, merely chatting back and forth to one another.

Where was the danger that she needed her wand?

A murmured incantation he couldn't catch and he saw a dim, barely visible hex flash forward and impact a certain blonde at the back of the group square in the middle of her back. He sucked in his breath and prepared to draw his own wand against the imminent explosion of hostile Slytherins that would soon be facing them.

Nothing happened.

Surprised, he felt another little shake and Hermione's hand was once again resting on his hip. His brow creased in confusion as the other group turned down the stairway to the dungeons and the two of them turned towards the staircases to the seventh floor. Hermione didn't do anything for no reason and hexing the Slytherin Ice Queen Daphne Greengrass didn't make any sense at all, especially since it didn't appear to do anything. So what had she done and why?

"Why did you just hex Greengrass? In the back I might add."

"She called me a bossy know-it-all in Arithmancy class today."

He looked down at her as they waited for a staircase to slide to the landing they needed to get to. "I hate to break it to you, Love, but you are a bossy know-it-all sometimes."

"I know that but it doesn't mean I like to hear it." She replied. She suddenly poked him in the ribs. "Besides, I'm getting better."

He nodded. "True, very true. But what did you hit her with? I didn't see any effect at all."

"Think of it as a magical tattoo." She explained as they started climbing.

"A tattoo?" he exclaimed, disbelieving that his rule loving lover could do such a thing. "You marked somebody with something as permanent as a tattoo?"

"Relax." She chuckled, starting up the stairs. "It's temporary and will fade in a few weeks. I took a sun tanning spell I found and modified it so it only tanned a certain pattern."

"Won't she just use a _finite_ to make it go away?"

She laughed this time, shaking her head. "It won't work. Once the spell makes the tan the magic fades away. The tan is just that: a normal sun tan, nothing magical at all."

"Oookaay," he drawled slowly realizing what she'd done, "so what kind of design did you use?"

"Ever seen those shirts or jumpers with 'Property of-' and the name of a sports team or university or business on them?"

Of course he had, how could you not? They were everywhere. "Yeah. So whose name did you put and where did you put it?"

She had a smug grin as she said, "I put it on the right bum cheek so she won't even notice it until she undresses to go to take a shower or go to bed."

"She won't have any idea how long it's been there or who might have put it there."

"Oh, she'll have an idea." Her grin was absolutely conspiratorial. "It'll be wrong but it'll be an idea."

"Whose name did you use?"

"Let's just say they'll be totally worthy of her wrath."

He felt a slight moment worth of pity for her unknowing victim but figured if she had picked them she had a good reason. "Could you show me how to do it, and change it to my name?" he asked.

She looked up at him. "Who would you use it on?"

He leered down at her and waggled his eyebrows.

She grinned back.

((((((OOOOO))))))

Draco Malfoy looked up from his Daily Prophet as Pansy came laughing into the common room. His eyebrow rose at her attire however: a plush, white bathrobe and fuzzy slippers. He was watching her talking excitedly to a group of girls on that side of the room while thinking how inappropriate her clothing choice was so he saw a sight he would long remember emerging from the same hallway she had. Daphne Greengrass must have just gotten out of the shower and thrown on her robe without even bothering to dry off because the silk of the thigh length garment was plastered to her soaking wet body like a second skin and the sight would fuel his fantasies, and every other boy in the room, for quite some time.

Then he noticed her face.

"_**MALFOY!"**_ she roared.

Her furiously _enraged_ face.

"_You think you can mark __**ME**__ and get away with you little shite?"_

He was out of his chair and running before her hex even left her wand.

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**A/N: **This thing has been running around in my head for the past week and I finally had to exorcise it. Hope you enjoy it. Ta! ER


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